Children of the Century

A feminist author + a bohemian poet + Early 19th century France + Christian LaCroix costumes = an overlong boring film

The two 'children of the century' we are talking about are - two lovers and writers - George Sand (played by Juliette Binoche) and Alfred de Musset (played by Binoche's real life lover Benoit Magimel, who is more famoulsy known as the winner of Best Actor Award at Cannes for The Piano Teacher).

Who are these two people? Well, I did't know until I saw the movie and I don't think any average person outside France has ever heard of their names either.
But they were two well-known personalities in the line of the great French romantics like Victor Hugo et al.

It must be noted that George Sand was a feminist before the word was invented and notorious for smoking and dressing up as a man in public, while Alfred de Musset was a philandering party animal who spent too much time (and money) on whores (think of an early 19th century version of Mick Jagger).

One look at our two bohemian romantics in one of the earlier scences and you don't have to sit through more than 2 1/2 hours of this costume drama to figure out where this 'realtionship' is going to end up.

My type

For all those times when I was asked "So, whats your type?" and didn't have a precise answer....
This is my type....




















and this ...

























and this...



























and these two brothers from the UK...















































Oh and finally, this cutie.....

Washington DC

"If you've ever existed in grids or swerves you know that London swings, New York is a grid. Chicago swings. Bombay is a grid. Delhi swings..."
- Midival Punditz

DC = Grid + Swerves = Confused drivers

Dark Water

Dark Water

Dark Water is yet another pointless remake of a Japanese horror flick (If you have noticed, this trend started with The Ring and it isn't going to stop anytime soon). The tag line for the movie says: "Some mysteries were never meant to be solved." First of all, there are no mysteries to be solved here. The plot is pretty straightforward and the so called 'mystery' is obvious half-way through the movie. Acting and direction isn't anything extraordinary. In short, the movie isn't worth my nine dollars. However, what boggles my mind is what is the director who made such fascinating films as Central Station, City of God, and The MotorCycle Diaries doing making this kind of mediocre fare.

There is a line uttered by Jennifer Connelly's daughter in one of the earlier scenes of the movie: "This is The City (pointing towards Manhattan), this is not the city (pointing towards Roosevelt Island)"....If only her mom had listened...

Whats makes life bearable....

Good booze + Good Porn = Nirvana

Mama's boy

When you grow up
Livin' like a good boy oughta
And your mama
Takes a shine to her best son
Something different
All the girls they seem to like you
Cause you're handsome
Like to talk and a whole lot of fun

But now your girl's gone a missin'
And your house has got an empty bed
The folks'll wonder 'bout the wedding
They won't listen to a word you said

Gonna take your mama out all night
Yeah we'll show her what it's all about

- Scissor Sisters (Take Your Mama Out)

Well, while I am out to my mom, I am not taking her 'out'. The last time, she asked me "Its so hard to find a good girl these days, how are you going to find a nice guy?"
I was speechless!

Umrao Jaan

Umrao Jaan (1981) is a fabulous movie.
Its one of the 'gayest' and most fabulous movie ever made in Bollywood. Bollywood has recently come out with its supposedly first 'gay' movie 'My Brother Nikhil.' But seriously, do I really care for a Bollywood version of 'Philadelphia.'

Of course I understand that you need movies like Philadelphia and My Brother Nikhil to tell the uncle and auntie-jees in their Marutis that its totally OK for someone to be gay and there is this thing called AIDS and some gays have AIDS and we all need to use condoms...blah blah blah.

But I have no patience for these public health service annoucements.
Give me Umrao Jaan any day of the year. Actually Umrao Jaan has no gay characters. Its the story of a 19th century courtesan in Lucknow. (Read an excellent review of this movie here).

But the reason why I consider this to be 'gay' movie is because at the end, Umrao Jaan is basically about a beautiful courtesan who has fabulous talents (poetry, singing, dancing, and not to mention her fabulous beauty) and there are all these guys making a whole lot of promises to her and never following through (sounds familiar?).

This has been my staple food over the whole of last weekend....Jeez, additional half an hour on the treadmill for every gym-visit this week. Hope my legs are still intact by next weekend. 

Oh yeah, this too... 

This is what I am paying my rent for... 

My Dry Spell

Mission: Get laid by Sunday
Strategy: PDX M4M Craigslist Ad (posted 14 June 2005)
[You see, I am systematic and I plan ahead!]

I am not self-delusional and therefore, I have pretty much given up on love and dating. But a guy has his needs! And so, I posted an Ad for an NSA hook-up on Portland M4M Craigslist.

Well, what do I get in response?

(1)- fifty year old men willing to shell out 100 dollars for allowing them to blow me
[Thanks, but in case I start a prostitution business to supplement my
income, I will know the going rates]

(2)- fifty year old men who want to be my "daddy" and "spank my naughty ass"
[Thanks, but I am not here to fulfill your freakish, incest-fantasy asshole]

(3)- a 25 year old dude who sends me a picture of him staring at the mirror in all his early-morning glory (read: ugliness) with a toothbrush in his foaming mouth
[Will somebody teach these 20-somethings some manners? If thats the
picture you are sending me, do really think I will ever put my dick in that
mouth of yours]

(4)- a few more 20-somethings, who call themselves GL (note: Not VGL, only GL; translation: fugly)
[Thanks, if you are gay and if thats your fugly-face in that picture, then you might as well be invisible. Thats Rule no. 1 of being gay in contemporary America. I know its harsh but nobody said it was easy being a fag. I have already gotten used to it and I suggest you do the same]

(5)- a 21 year old dude who does not drive, cannot host and calls himself 'discreet' (read: closeted, living with family and most likely under 21)
[Thanks dude but I have no intention of fucking a minor and getting arrested]

(6)- a supposedly 'bi-sexual' (read: married) 30-something guy who calls himself a "pure-top" (read: expect no reciprocatory BJ and probably no kissing either) and was clearly holding his breath (reeeeally) tight while taking that picture of his naked torso
[Thanks for the picture and nice try, but I can see the flab]

(7)- a whole bunch of guys in their mid-30s and mid-40s who have only a few years left before they reach the desperate life-stages of type-(1) and type-(2) guys
[Thanks for your pictures but get rid of the flab first and then we can talk. Oh Yes, I am shallow and Yes, I know I will there where you are today in a few years. But until then fuck you all]

(8)- a 20-something "creative radical type" (Note: Portland is just full of these) who looks like that dude from Interpol, exchanges a few emails for meeting up and then just sits silent until sunday 9 PM when he shoots me a message saying: "Dude, WTF, I am horny, Wanna have some fun? Howz 11?"
[Sorry dude, you were my best bet; what with getting my hopes high with all those emails until Friday when you just fell silent as if you had suddenly ceased to exist; Sunday 11 is just too bad because I have an 8-5 job and I have a LIFE; Moreover, I just jerked myself off and I am done. So Thanks and Fuck off]

So here I am, more than a month old in this town, all sex-deprived and sorrounded by a bunch of Bobos.
As if life wasn't already painful, even NSA sex is so tricky these days.
What's left?